too much

There is just too much going on right now. I'm overwhelmed and I'm taking a break from blogging. But before I go, let me give you a little info on all that's going on in our lives.

First off, we're buying a house. Yep, we're taking the plunge. We couldn't be more excited, but it's definitely a little overwhelming. We hope to close by the end of this month if all goes well. Here's a little looksy and once things settle down and it actually becomes official, I'll give more details and pics.

Secondly, because of this whole mortgage thing we'll be diving into, we decided I needed to go back to work part time to help us sit a little more comfortably in the $$ dept. God worked it out for me to return part time to my old job at ClubSport. Great thing is, I can take Wyatt with me. They offer free child care for their employees, which is such a blessing. I'll be starting back up this week. It's crazy, but I'm thankful.

Lastly, but WAY more importantly...

Things with my sister have taken a turn. I honestly have no words. My mom posted on CaringBridge so I'll just share her words, since I have none of my own.

We had a difficult weekend. I talked to the oncologist on Friday. He told us that because Sara's cancer has come back so quickly, and in both her lung, AND her leg. . . . it is not good. He said that most likely it will keep coming back, and she has a very slim chance of beating it. Sara has been through the best prescribed protocol of treatment for osteosarcoma, and seemed to respond very well. Now that she has moved into this phase of recurrent disease, we are in more of an unknown arena. There are clinical studies out there for recurrence in the lungs, but the ones that her oncologist knows of, she is no longer eligible for because of the recurrence in her leg. The best thing we can do is to just keep taking those spots out, as long as we can. He said he can give Sara some options about further treatment, but that we need to have that tough conversation and let Sara make some decisions about what she wants in her life right now. So, we have had some TOUGH conversations this past weekend.

We really don't KNOW any more than that. Sara thinks she will most likely opt for a low dose chemotheraphy that she can take and still go back to school. . . . if the side effects are mild enough. She has a list of questions for her oncologist. We are also looking into diet options. The crazy thing is (and I know I've said this before), Sara has always been so HEALTHY. Even now, aside from her limp, and the fact that she is sore and tired all the time, she says she feels good. It is just so hard to believe this is true.

We have seen God's hand constantly through this whole thing. We know that He can still bring miraculous and TOTAL healing, and we pray with every breath that He will. Please pray for Sara, and for us, as we are all struggling to make those hard decisions, and continuing to move forward, trusting God with faith and hope. It is hard for us to talk about, so we trust you understand if we don't respond much right now. We are all still processing and trying to gain a "foothold". Please be especially sensitive in your conversation with Sara. She has always been our eternal optomist. . . finding the good in every situation, always happy, and wanting everyone around her to be happy. She still wants that. She wants to live like God wants her to live. . . . in every sense of that statement. At the same time, our hearts are breaking. . . and we need to be able to acknowledge that as well. Basically, we don't know how to do this.

So this is the verse we are holding on to - Phillippians 4:8-9
"Whatever is TRUE, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is LOVELY, whatever is of good report. . . . . let your mind dwell on these things. . . . and the God of PEACE shall be with you".

It's too much. My mind and heart don't know how to handle everything that's going on. And to be honest, I'm not sure I'll figure it out. I'm overwhelmed and on an emotional rollercoaster. There are such exciting things going on in our lives right now with the new house and the newish job, but their tainted with the reality of what's going on with Sara. So I'm just going to try. I'll try to take it day by day. I'll try to focus on the positive. I'll try to be excited and thankful for all the new blessings in my life. I'll try to be a good wife and a good mom. I'll try to trust in God's plan. And I'll try to lean on His strength and not my own.

Please pray. Pray for a miracle to take place in Sara's body. And pray for my family. For strength and peace and understanding, when it feels like there's none.

6...but almost 7

Wyatt is 6 months now...plus a little, because I'm late on my posting. I've been prioritizing my life and blogging is not high on the list at the moment. I can't believe we've spent half of a year with this new addition to our family. It feels as though he's been around forever, and yet at the same time, I can't believe how quickly he's growing up. It seems like just last week that we were bringing him home from the hospital.

It's amazing how much change takes place in a baby's life in such a short amount of time. He has conquered quite a bit in the last couple months.

Here's his 6 month "list"

*At his 6 month check-up he weighed 16lb 10oz and was just about 27inches long, which still means he's long and lean. I'm pretty sure he gets that from me. . . I WISH!

*He has 2 teeth. That process was NOT FUN, but now that they're in, he's as happy as a clam (i just googled that saying, because I had no idea where it came from...now i do...check it out if you're interested: happy clam).

*He is sitting up completely on his own, rolling all over the place, getting up on to all fours (no crawling yet, thank goodness), and has even started pulling himself up to stand on his own. He can't stand for very long before toppling over, but he's working hard at it. I am nervous that this little boy is going to be quite the mover.

*Speaking of moving, this boy doesn't stop. He is such a squirmy little worm. The only time he's still is when he's sleeping or pooping.


*He goes to bed around 8 and wakes up between 7 and 8. HALLELUJAH! He's become a pro at putting himself to sleep and then back to sleep if he wakes up, which makes life much easier for me and Brett.

*He laughs. A lot. We love it and will do just about anything to hear it.


*He has been eating solids for several weeks now and can't get enough. He's tried apples, pears, bananas, peaches, carrots, sweet potatoes, squash, peas, and mixed veggies. The only thing he hasn't enjoyed is the peas...but really, who does?

*The following things make him the happiest: being outside, bouncing, playing with daddy, ripping through magazines, bath time, and eating solids.

*The following things make me the happiest: getting him out of his crib in the morning, seeing him discover new things, watching him play with Brett, hearing him belly laugh, seeing his face light up when I walk into the room, and kissing his little face right off.

whinery

Apparently we're running a whinery over here. . .

This is a look I've been getting a lot over the past several days.

I don't know what's up with him lately, but he's needing a lot of attention. And if he isn't getting it, he is sure to let me know. It's not a cry, it's not a scream, it's a definite whine.

I've caught myself saying "Quit being such a baby." And then I realize, "Oh yeah, you ARE a baby." Ah well, I still love the kid to pieces.

He'll be 6 months on Sunday. Wha-what? He's growing up so fast. Next post - - - 6 month milestones/achievements/cool facts/etc.

evening of excitement

So . . .

Brett and I were on our way home from grabbing dinner this evening and something crazy happened. Probably the most excitement Corban College (oops, now University) has seen in awhile.

As we were driving down the road, we saw a bunch of smoke coming from the parking lot at the baseball field, and as we got closer, we saw that one of the smaller athletic buses was putting out quite a bit of smoke from its engine. The bus was empty and there were several people standing around trying to figure out what to do. We continued driving and pulled into our townhouse parking lot. By the time we had unloaded Wyatt and walked to our front door, the bus had caught completely on fire.

We watched for the next several minutes as it was enveloped with flames. The fire department eventually arrived and put the fire out, but by that time, a power line had caught on fire and was causing some serious fireworks. The area was immediately shut down causing traffic back up and students stuck in parking lots and dorms. The area has pretty much been shut down since and as I type there are still flashing lights outside our windows trying to clean things up. This could have been a horrendous situation, but thankfully the athletes and driver got out of the bus as soon as the engine started smoking so no one was injured.

Crazy and exciting evening here at Corban. Anything crazy happening in your neck of the woods?

i'm not ready for this

He figured out how to get on all fours today.

I'm hoping it takes him a little while longer to figure out how to actually move forward from here.

I'm seriously not ready for this.

Meaty Post

Lady Gaga. . . she's out there. Did anyone see this outfit she wore recently?

Well, she only thought she was a trend setter. . . because these guys did it first!

Photo courtesy of http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com/. If you haven't ever looked at this site, you should. It's hilarious!

Apparently, I need to make better use of my time when Wyatt naps.

free weekend

Free weekends during the year are few and far between since I coach soccer in the fall and Brett coaches baseball in the spring. So when we do have one, we like to take advantage of it. Whether that means just relaxing at home or traveling to visit friends for a couple days, we soak it up when we can. This was one of those weekends - we went to Astoria to visit our good friends, Scott and Sage, who we don't get to see too often. This picture is from a few years ago at Scott and Brett's graduation. It was the most recent pic I could find of us all.



It was a short visit, but totally worth it. We spent the morning on the beach where Sage was nice enough to take some family pictures of us. Then the boys stayed home to watch football and nap, while Sage and I went out to some antique stores with coffee in hand. . . perfect fall day. We ended the day with a yummy dinner of salmon and steak followed by apple pie and ice cream. It was nice to get out as a family and see some friends at the same time. Hope you all had a great weekend as well!

what's all the fuss about?

Why does something this small cause such a big problem? Poor little guy. It probably doesn't help that I'm shoving my finger in his mouth and a camera in his face, all to capture a small milestone. He'll thank me later. Actually, he'll probably care less later...he's a boy...but I'll thank me later. :)

just another day in mommyhood

This big boy cut his first tooth this morning .

It's been a sad day.

it was a long week . . .

. . . and I couldn't decide.

Triple Chocolate or Champagne Raspberry?

or both? Yes, please!!

don't worry. . . i did NOT eat both pieces in one sitting. i couldn't even eat one piece in one sitting. these pieces are HUGE... and rich!! a couple bites of each is all i need, and that way, they'll last me a few days!!

also, Brett was out of town. otherwise, these wouldn't have lasted longer than 1 night.

we're on a roll

Look at me go... I'm on a roll with this whole blogging thing! I think because I was asbent from it all summer, I'm excited to actually have some time to post.

And Wyatt is on a roll because. . .well. . . just because he has lots of rolls and he's been rolling all over the place. Seriously, this little guy is growing so fast. My goal was to post about his milestones and little personality each month, but obviously, I've missed the last two. He's conquered 3 months and 4 months, and is now just a couple weeks away from 5 months!

Here are a few things about our little bubs:

* He now weighs 15 lbs and is 26 inches long (50th % for weight and 90th % for height). So basically he's a long, lean, fighting machine.

* He is the smiliest (is that even a word??) baby ever and will give them out to anyone who looks at him. I love that he's not shy, but I hope he drops the flirting by the time he's 10, scratch that, 5. Seriously, he has such a flirty smile towards girls. This is sort of embarrassing to admit, but a couple weeks ago, I was watching the Bachelor Pad (trashy, I know) while burping Wyatt, and every time Gia (who is pretty much the most beautiful woman I've ever seen) came on the tv, he would burst out with a coo, a wiggle and a huge smile. No joke. . . my sister can attest to it. What a funny little guy he is.

* He still loves to bounce, so my parents (thanks grandma & grandpa) bought him a bouncer seat that he absolutely loves. It's a life saver for me because I can actually get stuff done around the house and keep him happy at the same time.

* He started sitting up on his own. . . sort of. I have to start him off by balancing him just right, and then he can only hold it for 15 seconds max before toppling over. He's face planted it a few times when I couldn't catch him quick enough, but he's a boy and he's tough, so it didn't even phase him.

* He's finally putting himself to sleep at night and is sleeping much better and longer because of it. He'll go down around 9:30 and sleep until about 7:30!! Full night's sleep for momma? . . yes, please!

* He's obsessed with his feet. And they're finding their way into his mouth quite often these days. In fact, everything (feet, hands, clothes, blankets, toys, my hair, brett's face) goes into the mouth as quickly as he can get it there. He started teething recently so whatever soothes him, I guess.

* He really loves his daddy. His face just lights up every time he sees him. Brett's does too actually. And Brett sure does know how to make him laugh. It makes me jealous some times. . .especially when I try the exact same thing and don't even get a smile out of him. It's as if he's saying, "Come on, Mom. Why do you have to steal Dad's jokes? Come up with your own gig."

* He absolutely loves being outside and would spend an entire day out there, and probably not care to even eat or sleep, if he could. If he's a little fussy, all I have to do is walk over and open the front door and he stops. If, however, I don't step outside within 15 seconds or so, he starts back up. Once outside, he's as happy as can be and is especially drawn to swaying branches and leaves.

* He is super expressive and makes the absolute best faces.

* This boy pees all the time. No joke. We'll change his diaper and within a few minutes he's wet again. And when I get him up in the morning, his diaper is beyond soaked. Thankfully, it doesn't seem to bother him too much. Plus, they work great for Brett and I to bundle up and use as ammo against each other. We may be parents now, but we still know how to have fun. :)

* He has perfected the roll. . . mainly from back to stomach. I'll put him down on his back, walk away for 5 seconds, and return to him on his tummy facing a completely different direction than I put him. He is such a little wiggle worm.

* His official baby nickname is bubs, bubbas or bubsies. Once he grows out of the baby stage, I'm sure Brett will come up with something a little more boy and a lot less baby.

* He's still a binky boy, still pees in the bath every time, still loves to snuggle and is still soothed by bouncing on an exercise ball . . .

. . . and we still love him to pieces.

another auntie sara(h)

Sarah came and spent this last weekend with me while Brett went up to Washington to spend some time with Justin and help him build a deck. We got a little girl time, they got a little boy time. . . it was perfect.

We stayed up late talking, enjoyed some good food and coffee, watched chick flicks, played with Wyatt, and simply enjoyed each other's company. There's nothing like quality time with your best friend and it was wonderful having her here. The pic doesn't show it, but she has the cuuutest baby belly ever!! Just about 1 more month to go and her 2nd baby boy will be arriving. I can't wait to meet him. Our boys are going to be such good little buddies.

The alumni soccer game was this Saturday, which is the main reason Sarah came down, even though she couldn't play (you know, being preggo and all). But I played. . . and I died. . . so out of shape! The alumni ended up losing 3 or 4 to 1 (can't remember the exact score), but at least we scored a goal. It was fun seeing past teammates/friends and it's amazing how much we've all grown up. Some engaged, some married, some pregnant, some with babies, etc. My how time flies.

All that to say, my weekend was fantastic (minus the SUPER sore body when I woke up Sunday morning)! Thanks again for coming, Sarah. We miss you already!

she's back

YAY! Sara's back in Salem and I couldn't be more excited...for her and for me. :) A year ago, none of us would have ever imagined this possible, but in true Sara fashion, she has impressed us all with her determination. She's been back for almost 2 weeks now and I can already tell that she is going to do just fine, more than fine actually. I'm so proud of all she has accomplished and can't wait to see what this year has in store for her.

Obviously, I'm super excited to have one of my sister's around, and I'm pretty sure Wyatt is pumped to have an aunt to play with too. Sara's going to be doing me a HUGE favor by watching Wyatt 3 mornings a week so I can teach a class at Corban. So nice of her and so nice for me. In addition, date nights will be making a come back for me and Brett. First one: Thursday night. Woo to the hoo!! :)

LOVE YOU, SARA! Thanks for being such a wonderful auntie, sister and friend.

we've been busy (part 4) . . . sam & kim's wedding weekend

I have another sister! And she's absolutely wonderful. We couldn't be happier to have added Kim to our family. She's a beautiful person inside and out and is such a perfect fit for Sam (you've done well, brother).

We decided to head out early for the wedding to spend a few days with my parents in Nevada before heading to NorCal for the big event. It made for a few more hours on the road, but it was well worth the extra time with family. Wyatt is such a travel trooper. We've been doing so much of it this summer that he's gotten used to it. As long as he has a full belly and a clean diaper, he's good to go. Unfortunately, the clean diaper thing only lasts for so long... he had 3 massive blow outs in his carseat during our time on the road. Awesome!

The weekend was fun and the wedding was beautiful. It's always so great to have that many family and friends in one spot and it's even better to be celebrating such a happy occasion.

attempting a family picture. but apparently, wyatt's stealing most of the attention with his crying...what a baby ;)

a much better attempt:

ya, we love each other...

one of the few pictures we have of the 3 of us. special occasions are the only time i can actually get brett to smile for a picture

sister's

the real us. . .

so excited to be Mrs. Swenson

so perfect for each other!

LOVE YOU SAM & KIM!

we've been busy (part 3)

About a month ago we were able to spend some time with Brett's family... thankfully, his parents only live 3 hours away so we get to see them more often than the rest of his family... but his sister, and her hubby and 2 adorable little boys (with a sweet baby girl on the way), live all the way over in Arkansas. We wish they would just pack up and move back here already, but for now, we'll take any visit we can get.

It was so fun seeing the three boys together. Carson and Jackson are getting so big and their little personalities are too cute. It will be great when Wyatt's a little bit older and can play right along side them.

We tried several times to get a picture of the three of them together, but trying to get a 2 year old, a 1 year old and a 3 month old to sit still, look at the camera, and not hurt each other, is next to impossible. But here are some of our best tries. We probably could've timed these a little better so the sun wasn't right in their eyes, but coordinating nap times and meal times just added to the difficulty of getting these pictures taken. Ah well . . . maybe next time . . .

checking in

I have been SO horrible at keeping up with blogging this summer. Things have just been so busy. For those that actually care, I'll be resuming posts in the next week or so. Until then, here is a sneak peak at what I have to blog about in the future posts.

quality cousin time:

wyatt turning 3 months old... and then 4 because i've been such a slacker:

road trippin' it/sam & kim's wedding:

sara moving back to salem. . . woo to the hoo!!

Stay tuned. . .

oh and if you want to see pictures of Wyatt with his adorable little girlfriend, Nora, check out my good friend Kelsi's blog: here

we've been busy (part 2)

4th of July weekend with the Officer's . . .


It's becoming a tradition. Spending the 4th of July in Steilacoom, WA with our good friends. And we look forward to doing it again next year.

with the officer's & muri's. . . like family :)

the girls around the fire. . . while the boys made "fire" of their own with home-made fireworks.

nothing like a small town celebration!

* i know i'm missing any pictures of the bubs on his first 4th of July...but he slept through everything and you can only have so many pictures of a sleeping baby.